“If it weren’t for her, there would never have been a void, or the need to fill it”
-The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
I’ve been wondering…can I reverse the effects of this truth? If I can get rid of “her”, will the void and the need to fill it be gone? It sounds quite paradoxical, but I don’t want this void, and I know the she won’t fill it. Can I just pretend she doesn’t exist?
What would you do?
My euphoric world hurts and
My pain killers are life killers in reality and
We are all dying anyways
What is life with health without happiness
Self destructive or self giving, selfish and selfless living
"Only where there is disillusionment and depression and sorrow does happiness arise; without the despair of loss, there is no hope."
Haruki Murakami, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World (via alternative-god)
Things doesen’t last forever , no matter how much we want them to . There are no happy love songs because relationships are such fragile things that can get broken so easy . It scares me that no matter how perfect everything is now , it won’t last forever .
Taken for granted
I think being taken for granted by someone you love is perhaps the worst kind of emotional pain you can feel. You can be his best friend, his confidante and the person he misses the most and yet it means nothing when you’re in a room full of people. In a room full of strangers, you’re the least important no matter how hard you fucking try. You want to create a doorway between both of your lives, a passage that allows you both to feel included and wanted in the separate lives you lead in your day-to-day. You want him to know that as the day settles and the room empties, you know him better than most and love him more than any could. You want him to notice you. But that doesn’t happen. And then the pain hits.
"It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace."
Chuck Palahnuik (via jessicca)
I write quite a lot of texts that I never send. I simply just shut them down and save them in drafts. I don’t really know why I do that, perhaps I am afraid that I’ll accidentally send it to the wrong person, because no matter how hard I search among my contacts there are still no one who would like to hear my nonsense at three o’clock on a Tuesday night. I simply don’t know anyone who would be able to listen .
Dreams are broken as easily as the thinnest wine glass against the asphalt. People tend to connect the heart with pain, but losing your dreams hurts more, oh so many times a heart can be broken. I would not compare one kind of pain with another kind of pain, but without dreams and hopes, we are like a wing-shot injured bird. A wing-shot bird tied to the ground against his will: can not fly: losing hope and dreams: letting the ecocycle to take over.
We are all a part of something big. But as soon as we become injured or are doomed to fail, it’s time to disappear. Extinct. It would inhuman to eradicate an individual in seconds, but bit by bit, wine glass for wine glass , and soon is a human destroyed.
"Life is a single path of disasters , and difficulties are somewhat quite natural . Without them , her survival tricks are wholly unnecessary , and death the only thing that remains . And if death means the chance for a new life or an escape from the society surrounding us , it begins to look really exciting ."
Ma Jian (via sweetlovetriangle)